Mirrors are tricky. Bertrand Russell once said, “The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are so certain of themselves and wiser people so full of doubts.”
This blog assumes all who are reading this are of the wiser variety.
🔘 Not attractive enough.
🔘 Not smart enough.
🔘 Not skilled enough.
🔘 Not good enough...
I see these paradigms a great deal working in the Fine Arts. I recognize them not just because of training: My past struggles are what led me to offer trauma-informed voice lessons as well as breath therapy for asthma, anxiety, panic attacks and chronic pain.
As a society we are both over-thinking and thinking incorrectly. The thinking-space is where self-doubt and comparisons live. If you have not meditated, odd are you believe that who you think you are is actually who you are.
And the truth is, you are not who you think you are.
When you meditate, you will begin to have an experience of a consciousness that is different than your day-to-day individuated concept of yourself. Once we sink below the monkey-mind narrative, we find the negative chatter begins to drift away. As the noise subsides, you may feel a sense of connection to something bigger.
Lack of self-worth and toxic self-judgement are deeply rooted in the monkey-mind chatter, and can be extremely complex - but it does not exist in the meditative space. Because, when we drop off the hamster wheel there is something else there waiting for us: A sense of “I’m OK” . As Louise Hay states: “You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”
This meditative awareness of connected to something bigger can be found in other ways, mainly because they immerse us in community and in moment-to-moment awareness… where we don’t have time to be hyper-actively thinking.
Consciousness is not local. When you connect with this “dropped-in space” you are connecting to a whole. You need to be separate from another thing in order to compare yourself to it. If you are of the One, no comparisons - therefore no doubts. The cool thing is, there are other ways to find this connective present moment space - this moment-to-moment awareness and flow. There are literally hundreds of studies that show four very specific activities are highly effective at supporting self-esteem, personal empowerment, and a strong, healthy immune system.
1. Community
2. Singing
3. Exercise
4. Laughing
So join a choir. Do community theatre. Take yoga classes. Sign up with the local sports club. Attend stand-up comedy gigs with friends. Organize gaming nights. Sing at a karaoke bar... and meditate.
The easiest thing to do is isolate, because then no one can hurt you… trouble is, the person who is hurting you is you. And that person is still with you.
As a sensitive, adopted, only-child introvert, I am well aware of the comfort, safety and stability available in retreating under the weighted blanket...
It is sometime necessary. My suggestion is to please not overdo it and turn your back on your community support systems, or yourself. So these activities, then come home and meditate. After a while you will find you are getting more pleasure out of the activities. This is a good sign the meditation is working. Keep going. Every day.
Get out there. Meet new people and learn something new - connect, live, move, express.
And remember: You are loved, and way awesomer than you ‘think’ you are.
